New addiction ruins lives

A millimeter of misconception in my calculations and that’s it. One mistake. One faulty tap, and my life is over.

This is the life of the avid Flappy Bird player.

Flappy Bird is a follower of the similarly addictive genre of bird apps, such as Angry Birds and Tiny Wings. Also like its forefeathers, the app follows a simple yet aggravatingly difficult method of using a series of taps to proceed your bird along in the game.

A quality that separates it from the other apps is that there is literally no plot to this game. The basic goal is to get your bird through a series of level-changing green pipes. But why? Perhaps the bird’s nest is on the other side of the pipes, and little baby flappy chicks are calling for their mommy. There’s no way of knowing, though, because so far I’ve only managed to pass a total of 26 pipes. And I have no clue what the pipes have to do with anything. Why is there plumbing in a field on the outskirts of a major city? How are pipes coming from the sky when there is no sign of a stable structure supporting them? How do these pipes function properly if there’s no sign of them ever interconnecting?

I have many questions, but there is one thing I know for sure: I am completely, unabashedly addicted to this game. It has achieved the most essential goal a successful game aims for; Flappy Bird insults my pride and dignity, so I can’t help but defend my honor.

I honestly have no good feelings toward this app. I should just delete it and get on with my life … right after I beat my high score.

0 out of 5. 10 out of 10.